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 Post subject: Joke - Could be Electrician or Lawyer
PostPosted: Wed Sep 30, 2015 12:31 am 
An electrician dies in his sleep one night and goes straight to hell. It
doesn't take long for him to become totally pissed off about hell's intense
heat so straightaway he begins making improvements. In no time at all, hell
is air conditioned with ice cream machines, Slurpees, ice skating rinks, and
has snow machines along with underground snow skiing, not to mention ice
cold beer on tap. Soon he's the most popular guy in hell, and everyone's
buying him a beer!

God hears the news of hell freezing over and calls Satan demanding to know
what the hell is going on down there? Satan tells him, "Oh, things are
great. We've got AC, snow, and it feels like the North Pole and everybody
now is happy, thanks to the electrician you sent us."

"Something has gone terribly wrong. Send him back here immediately. He
wasn't supposed to go to hell," said God.

Satan says, "Sorry, no way. He's mine now. We've never had it so good down
here & I'm keeping him."

"You'd better send him back this instant, or I'm going to sue you!" yells
God, who's become quite angry.

Satan only laughs, saying, "Yeah, right, and just where are you going to get
yourself a lawyer?"


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 Post subject: Re: Joke - Could be Electrician or Lawyer
PostPosted: Wed Sep 30, 2015 1:40 am 
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Joined: Fri Feb 20, 2009 3:44 am
Posts: 3962
Location: Pecos, Texas
:lol:

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 Post subject: Re: Joke - Could be Electrician or Lawyer
PostPosted: Fri Oct 02, 2015 6:17 pm 
A man walked into a bar with his alligator and asked the bartender, “Do you serve lawyers here?”.

“Sure do,” replied the bartender.

“Good,” said the man. “Give me a beer, and I’ll have a lawyer for my ‘gator.”


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 Post subject: Re: Joke - Could be Electrician or Lawyer
PostPosted: Tue Oct 27, 2015 4:00 pm 
A lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates. To his dismay, there were thousands of people ahead of him in line to see St. Peter. To his surprise, St. Peter left his desk at the gate and came down the long line to where the lawyer was, and greeted him warmly. Then St. Peter and one of his assistants took the lawyer by the hands and guided him up to the front of the line, and into a comfortable chair by his desk. The lawyer said, "I don't mind all this attention, but what makes me so special?"

St. Peter replied, "Well, I've added up all the hours for which you billed your clients, and by my calculation you must be about 193 years old!"


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 Post subject: Re: Joke - Could be Electrician or Lawyer
PostPosted: Tue Oct 27, 2015 11:33 pm 
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Joined: Fri Nov 01, 2013 6:43 pm
Posts: 648
Location: Lafayette, LA, USA
:lol: :lol: :lol:

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 Post subject: Re: Joke - Could be Electrician or Lawyer
PostPosted: Wed Dec 02, 2015 2:40 pm 
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Joined: Wed Nov 04, 2015 1:19 am
Posts: 60
Q: How many lawyer jokes are there? A: Only three. The rest are true ...

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 Post subject: Re: Joke - Could be Electrician or Lawyer
PostPosted: Wed Dec 02, 2015 4:57 pm 
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Joined: Fri Feb 20, 2009 3:44 am
Posts: 3962
Location: Pecos, Texas
Image

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 Post subject: Re: Joke - Could be Electrician or Lawyer
PostPosted: Mon Feb 15, 2016 12:06 am 
What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?
The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:


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 Post subject: Re: Joke - Could be Electrician or Lawyer
PostPosted: Mon Feb 15, 2016 12:11 am 
How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?

None, he'll have the paralegal do it. That way it will only cost $75 an hour.


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 Post subject: Re: Joke - Could be Electrician or Lawyer
PostPosted: Mon Feb 15, 2016 12:18 am 
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Joined: Tue Sep 11, 2007 4:55 pm
Posts: 5793
Location: Greece
What do you get if you cross a lawyer, engineer in Greece?

This:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LmJudD7cfpE

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 Post subject: Re: Joke - Could be Electrician or Lawyer
PostPosted: Wed Feb 17, 2016 12:16 am 
What's the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight. :lol: :lol: :lol:


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 Post subject: Re: Joke - Could be Electrician or Lawyer
PostPosted: Wed Feb 17, 2016 12:17 am 
A lawyer and an engineer were fishing in the Caribbean. The lawyer said "I'm here because my house burned down and everything I owned was destroyed by the fire. The insurance company paid for everything." "That's quite a coincidence", said the engineer, "I'm here because my house and all my belongings were destroyed by a flood, and my insurance company also paid for everything." The lawyer looked somewhat confused.

"How do you start a flood?", he asked.


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 Post subject: Re: Joke - Could be Electrician or Lawyer
PostPosted: Wed Feb 17, 2016 12:20 am 
"How can I ever thank you?" gushed a woman to Clarence Darrow, after he had solved her legal troubles.

"My dear woman," Darrow replied, "ever since the Phoenicians invented money there has been only one answer to that question." :twisted:


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